First thing’s first- Tranfers happened! Sister Feinga and I are still together which is super awesome because I totally need her! She just takes some warming up to. Now I absolutely love her. We’re getting a new district leader (Elder Larsen) and a new zone leader (Elder Wilson) so that’ll be fun. Sister Feinga is on her 5th transfer in Braddock Heights though! That’s 7 and a half months! She’s the bomb.
So this morning I realized another weakness of mine. A big one. I thought I would share because ya’ll know me best. I know you can help me figure this one out.
I’m never satisfied. With anything.
I woke up this morning and quite honestly I was bored. I said to myself “Seriously? You’re going to do this for 16 more months? I can’t wait for it to be over.” Now don’t get me wrong. I LOVE the people here. I love my companion.
But I was frustrated. I moped while I cleaned the kitchen. Truly this week has been tough. We weren’t able to meet with many investigators, we had to drop 3, and we just did a lot of tracting. Brutal. We were crazy busy the past three weeks and then last week was like BOOM. The Lord wants to test us.
But that’s no excuse.
I was still dissatisfied with my mission. I wanted results NOW. I wanted to be the best missionary I can be NOW. I wanted to go home and see all of you NOW.
I knew I was being stupid. I knew that kind of thinking is wrong so in the middle of my mental tirade I dropped to my knees and prayed to be able to see things in an eternal perspective. It helped a bit.
But then I got the idea in my head to go through the open when letters tanner gave me. I opened Marissa’s. “Open when you need your missionary spirit rekindled.”
In it she included a journal entry from a day in her mission. Statistic wise it wasn’t a great day, but she was so positive through the whole thing. At the end she wrote- “I love it here. I never want my mission to end.”
I was crying at that point because I knew in my heart I wanted my mission to end. I was not satisfied with myself or my mission. I was unhappy because I was thinking about everything that will make me happy after my mission.
Then I realized I have always been that way.. Nothing has ever been enough for me. I’ve always wanted more or something different or a different situation and I’ve spent my whole life wishing for the future.
I need to learn to be satisfied with where I am, who I am, and the progress I’ve made. If I never figure that out I am NEVER going to be happy. Because I’ll always be wanting more. Think that’s gonna screw me over when I’m thirty? Because I do.
As I sat under my desk reading her letter and thinking about all this The Spirit whispered “This is the most important lesson you will learn.”
I want to learn how to be content. I want to learn to be happy with myself and my situation! Because those moments where I’m dissatisfied and just wishing for something else are far too frequent in my life.
But I’m determined. You all know that when I want something I bust my butt to get it. So I’m gonna work hard. Don’t worry about that.
Help? Advice? I love you guys 🙂 Sorry it took me so long to figure this one out 😉 I’m a wee bit blonde.
P.S. I kinda ruined a hubcap…
The Miracle of the Kazoo
This is Benny. We met her and her mom outside of an apartment complex. The first time we talked to them I entertained Benny with my awesome Kazoo skills while Sister Feinga talked to her mom. Her mom wasn’t interested, but Benny wanted to play my Kazoo. So I gave it to her! She tooted with it as we walked away.
Then as we were walking back they were still there, this time I asked if I could get a video of Benny! She is so cute! We gave her sisters pamphlets and cards because they wanted pictures. They followed as as we knocked on other apartment doors. After about 20 minutes we had no luck so we walked back to our car and Benny and her mom were still there!
So we asked her mom if she knew anyone we could share a message about Jesus Christ with. She said her! A woman who had been admantly against us sharing a message with her now gave us her name, phone, and address, and we set up an appointment with the Frederick sisters with her.
All because we took the time to play with Benny and give out pictures. I lost my kazoo…but it went to a good home 🙂
Sister Feinga and I were visiting a potential who hasn’t EVER answered her door. As we kncoked I stared at the door and aksed The Lord, “Why are we here right now? This woman does not want to talk to us.” My answer was immediate and clear, “You’re doing exactly what you’re suppossed to be doing right now.”
Staring at a door? Really? But I took it and I took hope from it. Then we went and visited a former investigator in the same area. She has issues with the Priesthood and the authority to baptize. We explained it, read some scriptures, and bore our testimonies and invited her to read the Book Of Mormon and pray. Then she closed the door.
As we were walking back to our car there was a little dog running around. I love dogs so of course I called to it and it ran up to us and started running circles around us! It was so cute and it just kept running around us while we tried to walk to the car. It slowed us down just enough for a woman to come out of her house. She said, “hey is that your dog?” We said, “No is it yours? She said no, but we were already talking to her so of xcourse we walked over to share our message. We didn’t get two words out when she said, “You’re LDS missionaries aren’t you! Go inside and sit down. I have my own beliefs, but I know missionaries. I’ll get you guys a drink.”
Long story short she just moved in. She was about to give up on assmebling some furniture, but fortunately my mom has an IKEA addiction so I was able to assemble her stuff in about 20 minutes.
She was so grateful she asked if we wanted some food she had just cleaned out of her closets! we of couse said yes.
Then this woman proceeded to clean out her freezer, fridge, and then opened her cupboards and started putting everything unopened in bags. She had just moved in so almost everything was unopened.
She even gave us the pitcher and thermos’s our lemondae had been in. She gave us almost 150$ in NEW GOOD HEALTHY groceries. And then she came to church on Sunday.
It was the single greatest act of charity I have ever been able to be a part of.
I’m out of time. But people. B kind. I love you all.